the unplugged vacation

*Disclaimer - I was drunk when I wrote this.

It's funny how we find it so hard to experience the world unattached from our cell phones and technology.

I recently went on an all-inclusive vacation with my mom, who you could also refer to as my best friend for technicality purposes. Or better yet, Val, which is what I like to call her. It's hard to consider an all-inclusive vacation as a trip that is completely segregated from the world around
you - I mean you're at a resort with people from all over the world, you have unlimited wifi (in most places, these days), you're drinking and eating endlessly all while being catered to around the clock. It's a week of luxury, really: unsegregated luxury. Although it's beyond relaxing relaxing, it seems almost impossible to take an absolute leave of absence from the world.

When I packed my bag I brought along all of the essentials: clothing to cover all of my bases and weather situations,  toiletries, money, my passport, a couple books, my lap top, my cell phone...Wait... My lap top? My cell phone?

I understand that cell phones are the most convenient way to keep in touch with loved ones back home. They are one of the best ways to send a quick message just to let someone know you've arrived safe, you're healthy, etc, but how is it possible to take a real break from life when your main source to the world you are vacationing from is attached to your hip?

Last year I went to the Dominican Republic to a much smaller resort; one where WiFi wasn't available unless I paid out of my ass for it. It was available for free in a small area of the resort, but it was hard to connect to or find. I remember feeling so frustrated trying to connect to send a few facebook messages, check my Instagram and find out what celebrity scandal had happened that I wasn't able to hear about instantly back home. I spent so much time out of the hot afternoon sun under the covered theatre area trying desperately to connect. Looking back on it now I feel like I missed so many opportunities. I was convinced that anything happening in the "real" world would dissipate into the oblivion and I would never hear about it again unless I connected to the internet and found out about it instantly.

This year when we arrived to our gorgeous resort in Huatulco I, obviously, grabbed my phone and searched for whatever WiFi capability I had. Refresh. Close. Refresh. Close. Connect. Disconnect. Restart. Connect. Refresh. I did whatever I could to find a connection.

I eventually found a connection and loved my unlimited capability to reach the outside world. I could message anyone,  I could see what my favorite Instagrammer had for breakfast, I kept up with my work group message, and I knew whatever bullshit TMZ posted about Taylor Swift. It was amazing.

Until I found myself sun bathing the next day with my phone attached to my hip, not enjoying my surroundings, the serenity (bottomless alcohol), sound of the ocean (because I obviously had spotify playing), or the action happening in the pool. Honestly, you'd be surprised to hear the drama I heard from the two 60 year old women who floated laps together around the entire perimeter of the main infinity pool all day long (I missed it the first day but I made sure to tune in for my daily Soap Operas for the rest of the week).

After I had reviewed a few too many work group chats, read messages I'd received and news stories that irritated me I wondered what I was doing. I only have this one week all year to not care about anything. I have booked myself away from life for one week and one week only... Why should I care what's happening back home, in Hollywood, or at work? It finally dawned on me that I was
on vacation. The people who needed to know most knew I was there safe and sound, happy, and enjoying the sun. What more did they need? What more did I need from them?

I decided to disconnect my WiFi for the duration of the rest of the trip. I kept my phone on my to take the occasional photo and would connect in the evening just to send a quick hello to those who needed it, but aside from that, I kept my phone off.

I enjoyed the sunrise, I watched the sun set. I had conversation with my mother in the evening over dinner and wine. I met beautiful people and built relationships I will never forget. I taught others
about my passions and learned more about the world of others. I experienced
the beautiful country through the eyes of whom it meant the most. I smiled as I let go of worries and felt ease in my mind. There was nothing happening outside of the resort that was more important than me rejuvinating and recharging my mind, body and soul... with copious amounts of Don Julio. I remember coming home last year and wishing I would've built a few more relationships while
I was there and really crack out of my shell and get to know people. Well, this year, I definitely did that. People are much more approachable when they don't have a cell phone glued to their face apparently.

I return home today and find myself using my cell phone and computer even less. There was a time in my life where I was scrolling through social media endlessly, spending hours online watching YouTube videos, endlessly wrapped up in the world of others. Well news flash: your life will go on if I don't text you back in 3 seconds flat and my world will not end if I don't see what nail color Joey Graceffa has right this second. Take time for yourself. Your thoughts are the best
things you have. Spend time with people in a disconnected state. Don't worry if you accidentally leave your phone behind for an hour. Honestly, you're probably better off without it anyways.

And if that's too much for you, take it from me: at least when you go on a holiday, unplug yourself from the world. Take a REAL vacation.

This challenge was hard. / Writing haiku poems should be / easy. Not for me.

It seems the challenge blog was actually was quite a challenge - especially for me. If you haven't noticed or caught on, however, it seems that pretty much everything (this blog included) is a bit of a challenge for me. 

For our challenge blogs Dillon very creatively challenged me to take photos each day for the rest of the week and write an accompanying Haiku poem for each photo. He felt this would be a good way for me to work on a little bit more writing, as in case you haven't noticed, I've been the worst out the three of us in this blogging adventure. Let's just say I'm happy he chose Haiku's and not frigging Sonnets because three lines and 17 syllables was challenging enough, let me tell you!!

This is the definition of a Haiku, according to the Google!

 

"hai·ku

ˈhīˌko͞o,ˌhīˈko͞o/

noun

noun: haiku; plural noun: haikus; plural noun: haiku

a Japanese poem of seventeen syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five, traditionally evoking images of the natural world."

 

 

Not included in this definition is the mention of juxtaposition which Dillon also challenged me into doing. For those of you unfamiliar with what that means, it basically means placing two contrasting ideas next to each other. So usually what this means with a Haiku is that you need to break up the lines somehow and provide the poem with two different thoughts. I think I did my best with that? You'll have to be the judge. Or maybe Dillon can - he is the teach after-all!

 

 So, without further ado, I will let you see what I have created!

 

 

 

The bird sings a song
to welcome the shining sun.
Moonlight guitar strum.

 

Motionless today
Waiting to swing life away.
The skies the limit.

 

Blazing fire, cold ice
Tingle the senses tonight.
Tomorrow can wait. 

 

Awake the morning.
Granddaddies’ strokes of colour
decorate the day.

 

 

Fresh catch of the day.
Brothers, friends, enjoy summer
nights while they still can.

 

Sunny clear blue skies
Water. Crisp, cool, shimmering.
Summer dwindles on.

There you have it, folks! Those are my Haiku's. I think Dillon was expecting me to stick with my usual comic route as he stated in his challenge that he thought what I would come up with would be hilarious and entertaining (this is not an actual quote as he challenged me this like a month ago and I don't exactly remember what he said). I decided to stick to the typical nature-esque form of the Haiku and write about things that I truly enjoy, take for granted, and mean something to me. I hope that you can get that from the poems. 

I considered writing a little bit about what each photo and poem meant, but I think poetry is best left for the reader to interpret. Perhaps I'll write another blog about that one day.

But with this blog coming to an end I have two confessions:
1) Dillon - I cheated. Although I did take photos (almost) every day for the week I only used two of them. I wasn't happy with the others/suck and used earlier photos and ones that were taken later.
2) The last haiku was not written by me. It was written, however, by a darling friend of mine, Kimberley!! I told her at work this morning I had totally sucked at my blog and conned her into writing one for me. Thank a bunch, Kim!! I am most definitely excited to have you featured on my entry this week.

What do you guys think of the poems?? I hope you like them!! Be sure to check out Dillon and Jazmin's challenge blogs, as well. Dillon had to wear only 6 articles of clothing for the week and Jazmin had to eat food that only she prepared (this seems absurd but the girl literally lives off taquitos and Lunchables) ! Both are fabulous entries with delightful, and delicious pictures to accompany them!!

Until next time,

xoxo, Cale
The Sassy Friend.

Blanket Fort Part 1 of 3

Looking for a comfortable bachelor suite? Look not further. This is the perfect suite for you. Sure, it might be made out of blankets but it's gotta enough room for you (and maybe a guest, if ya know what I mean), lots of amenities, and it's completely afforadable as it's made out of nothing but blankets, chairs and broomsticks. Take a look, this is the perfect place for you! Seriously, blanket forts are all the rage right now! They're all a person needs :)

 It's got a wonderful open entrance, complete with a One Direction canopied doorway. Nothing says "Welcome Home!!" quite like the pubescent faces of 1D!

 It's got a long, hall-like layout with two bright lights. You'll never have to be scared in the dark!

 It's got beautiful decor and is complete with its very own scentsy! We'll be burning a delicious Pineapple Sorbet scent upon your arrival.

 It's got a laptop with super fast wifi access.... and it's blasting the new Hilary Duff song on repeat!!

 Is any home complete without a 42" flat screen television? Definitely not. Thank GOD this place has got one! Oh, and yes... Those are Dolby Surround Sound Speakers. A total of 4 booming speakers all in this one little nook! You will be able to listen to that Satellite TV or Blu-Ray on full blast... Because this blanket fort has both of those!

 It may be a little tight but it has two spacious laying areas. One near the front of the house and a cozy sitting area towards the back of the fort with perfect view of both the lap top and flat screen television.

 Such a comfy and roomy sitting area. It comes with a variety of cushions that keep hidden in the two spacious drawers that come with the television stand.

 The roof has a very unqiue topsy-turvy appeal. Very reminiscent of a circus tent... With more One Direction than you'd find at your average, run-of-the-mill circus.

 Look at the size of that baby! That's what I call a blanket fort.

 One of the pillars on the inside of the fort. Gives lots of head space and room to move and sit comfortably. 

It also has access to a beautiful, like-new acoustic guitar! It probably needs to be tuned, but it plays! So if you get sick of listening to the new Hilary Duff single you can play your own tune!! HOW SPECTACULAR.

So you think you could make a better blanket fort? I'd like to see you try. This is AS GOOD as your average 5-year old could build... but boys and girls are both allowed. We have a pro-cooty policy (there may be a drawer full of condoms and lube in here too...)

If you think this blanket fort deserves to win the contest vote for Blanket Fort Part 1 here!

hold the meat.

“You’re probably just doing it for attention”

“What’s the point in cutting things out of your diet?”

“I think in order to be healthy you need to include everything in your diet”

“He’s just being complicated”

Believe it or not, these are all things I’ve been told or have overheard about myself since declaring myself a vegan.

For the past year I’ve been dealing with a lot of stomach and digestive issues. I wasn’t doing much about it besides eating a ton of fiber and smoothies that were pumped up with Metamucil. Frozen yogurt was a staple in my diet, goat cheese covered pretty well every meal, I was eating like 10oz of chicken a day, and I was horribly bloated. I have weighed my meals ever since I took it upon myself to lose 90 pounds so I knew  what I was eating was within my caloric range and I was meeting all my macronutrient needs, yet I knew something needed to change. Although I ate a lot of chicken, meat had really no appeal to me. My instant thought was to become a vegetarian. I loved my dairy products, but the more I considered it the less I believed that meat was what was the culprit of my stomach issues. My next initial thought was that diary products were causing me such stress. This seemed most plausible.

I hummed and hawed for a while about what I should do with my diet and ended up going with what my brother’s adorable girlfriend did. She, too, was having some issues with her health and turned to a vegan diet. She has been vegan for years now and from what I understand most of her health issues have decreased or disappeared completely.

Alas, after doing some reading and researching, at approximately 3pm on one Monday afternoon in which I had consumed nothing but fruit and oatmeal I decided that Cale Bosch was going to become a vegan.

Becoming a vegan has been one of the most difficult journeys I’ve endured with my diet. Honestly, my weight loss diet doesn’t even compare. You can go pretty much anywhere these days and eat a healthy, balanced, low calorie meal. Watching what you eat was simple when you had a huge range of foods to choose from. Well, with a vegan diet you’re cutting out literally all animal products. No dairy, meat, foods that contain animal byproducts - hell, I don’t even eat honey! Imagine going to a restaurant and ordering a menu item that doesn’t contain anything animal related. Sure, a salad containing only vegetables, grains, nuts, etc is usually pretty safe, but did you think to ask what’s in their salad dressing? Pasta sounds great with a pesto or tomato sauce, but are there eggs in the noodles? Usually.

I still have a long way to go with learning how to cook Vegan, as well. I’ve tried a world of new things and have discovered some amazing foods. I never thought I would try tofu and actually love it. I had no idea how versatile beans are/the fact that there’s like 374920778 varieties of them and somehow all taste significantly different. For someone who tried to avoid anything containing soy (due to estrogen) I have found myself eating a lot of soy-based products. I think the longer I am a vegan the more I will be able to rely on food that aren’t soy based, but for someone who’s slowly getting himself into a new diet I think it’s safe to say I need a little bit of soy in my life. If you’re wondering, most faux vegan foods (cheese, meat substitutes, etc) are soy based. C’mon, I literally ate so much goat cheese back in the day. I couldn’t cut things like that out completely (only the real stuff... sigh). Although I must say, soy cheese tastes kinda like butter and it’s delicious as tits (before being able to lactate, that is – too much animal product to handle... gross) (that was a reference to breast milk FYI).

Another huge challenge with this diet change has been meeting my desired protein intake. You’d be amazed how much protein you can find in plant based foods, however, it can be quite difficult meeting my desired intake of 120 grams of protein per day. Thank God for lentils, beans and dehydrated soy flakes. Dehydrated soy flakes sounds disgusting but when you cook them it honestly becomes this fake ground beef that is way more delicious than the greasy, fatty, nast-tastic real thing. You probably wouldn’t think that you could take something that looks like fish food, beef it up with some water, add spices, etc and BAM, have something delicious! I assure you, you can. My favorite thing to do with it is cook it with a little tomato paste, balsamic vinegar, and taco spices and use it to make tacos or huge taco salads. The best thing about it is that it’s also super low calorie. The taco salads I create are literally the size of a fat newborn.

I’ve always felt like since I’ve lost weight I’ve been a bit of a diva when it comes to my diet. I hate going on vacations or visiting peoples’ homes and feeling like they need to cater to my lifestyle. When we’d visit my Aunt’s cabin I’d always bring a variety of my own foods and cook my own meals or ad-lib to whatever was being prepared for the family. I would be lying if I said I felt I wasn’t being judged about it sometimes. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t being judged in my own home from time-to-time. I’m sure I’m overreacting, but it honestly feels like a lot of people truly don’t understand it. . Now I have this whole Vegan thing to worry about. We went to the lake a couple weekends ago and I’d normally be able to enjoy the lean chicken breasts they’d throw on the BBQ, but now I can’t even do that. It’s going to be a whole other challenge dealing with that from now on. I don’t want people to think I’m difficult, needy, snobbish or opposed to whatever they’re putting in their face. I’m not going to be offended watching you shove a steak in your face. What you put in your body is your choice; I just wish everyone had that same mindset as me! I’m sure a lot of vegans have faced this problem or something similar at some point in their life.

Although this has been a bit of a challenge I’ve put myself up too, and not necessarily a lifestyle change I’ve made fully based on animal rights, I really hope I can stick with this vegan diet for quite some time. I think with the more research I do and interest I take in why people choose to become vegan its only going to persuade me to pursue this diet even further.

So with this blog entry I leave you with a challenge! For quite some time now I’ve celebrated Meatless Monday almost every week. I challenge you to do the same! If you’re looking for suggestions or ideas check out www.foodgawker.com. They have all kinds of delicious vegetarian and vegan cuisines on there that get added daily. They have especially lots on Mondays for some reason... So try it out! Let me know what you think and share with me some cool recipes you’ve tried.

Most of my favorite supper meals are stir fries using whatever fresh vegetables I have on hand, some type of starch, and a vegan protein source (usually tofu and lots of beans). It always looks like I’m frying up the same thing but it’s different almost every time. So start with that for your Meatless Monday endeavors. For breakfast try a delicious green smoothie with flax and chia seed or oatmeal prepared with your favorite fruit or some warm spices (I love love love peanut butter, cocoa and a banana cut up with a little bit of sweetener added – its fucking DELICIOUS). And nothing beats a giant sandwich packed with roasted veggies and hummus for lunch. Or just make a big salad. Like a HUGE salad. Pack it full of beans and hearty foods. And top everything with Avocado. If there’s one thing I’ve discovered is that Avocado goes with everything... Literally everything.

Good luck!! And wish me luck, as well. I might need it. 

Check out some Vegan goodness!!

 This sandwich is 100% Vegan. Add hummus to the bread for the most delicious, healthy, protein packed 'sauce' 

 Here I made tacos with my dehydrated soy protein. Don't they look amazing? They were amazing.

 Wok Box can be vegan, too!! 

 Annnnnd thank GOD, most alcohol is vegan as well (just ignore the creamy liquors seen in this photo... Vodka contains nothing that came from an animal. Drink away, bitches).

Sometimes I have a hard time being vegan when I'm smashed. 

Me: "Milkshakes are Vegan, right?" 

Denny's Waitress: "Well... Considering they're made of nothing but ice cream and milk..."

 Tofu stir fry, avocado, and homemade pita chips!! So much yum!!

 Mashed up avocado on a simple salad takes it to the next level!!

 Thai food is the best vegan option ever for eating out!! So many amazing dishes to choose from!

 My all-time favorite oatmeal dish baking in the oven! Oatmeal, shredded carrots, cinnamon, and banana baked with applesauce and almond milk. It's delicious carrot cake for BREAKFAST. Boom. Top that shit with vegan cream cheese icing... #DEAD

Another attempt at a vegan stir-fry! This time with spaghetti squash and garlic hummus on top instead of avocado! 

a day in the life of cale: PRIDE EDITION.

 My day is going to start of the night before, because technically these photos happened after midnight. Here I am posing with Andrew Christian's trophy boy Pablo. Isn't he gorgeous? 

And below is a photo of myself doing tequila shots with Pablo and the beautiful fashion designer, Andrew Christian, himself. It was an honor modeling his underwear and meeting him.

 I woke up after a very horrid sleepless night at approximately 10:30. For whatever reason I decided to open my bedroom window which was a horrible idea because the tequila from the night before combined with sunlight was not a good combination.

 This was the only thing I ate all day. My favorite weekend breakfast baked oatmeal! It's like carrot cake and delicious as fuck. I weigh and track nutrients of pretty much everything I eat. It's a fun lifestyle.

 Look at it baking. Mmm, so delicious. 

 Then I made myself a delicious coffee. I'm too classy to drink regular drip. Espresso for this bitch, only. 

 And alas, here I was on the 302 float. By this time I was already drunk which began my epic fail of taking photos of my day. I don't actually work for 302 and almost died jumping on to the back of the float, but I had a blast dancing and throwing beads in the Pride Parade. 

 Drunk selfie #1

 Taking photos on the float. So much fabulousness going on.

 The crowd parading behind the float. Look at all those fabulous equality marchers. 

 Drunk selfie #2

 I was now off the float and had since gone for lunch at Jerry's Food Emporium. I had a beer, and that was all. I ran into the gorgeous Erin Lang who was flipping burgers like the hot bitch she is. Also, drunk selfie #3

 Drunk Selfie #4 in the beer gardens. 

 Drunk selfie #5 on the way to the liquor store. For more liquor. Which was obviously needed at that point. 

 Drunk selfie #6 waiting for Cole to get beer. It took approximately 12 years. Or maybe I was just being drunk and impatient. Probably the latter. 

 I just met her but it's never too early in your relationship with someone to kiss them in a drunk selfie. This is #7 in case you hadn't counted. 

 Gay beer pong is a Pride must. Don't ever play with someone who doesn't drink though because then you end up chugging 3 beers yourself which is never a good idea. OR always a good idea? Ya, I'll go with that. 

 I made it back home and took a shower. I made a slight drunken embarrassment of myself in front of my family. I mean, it was only in the middle of the day? Hey.. It was Pride. What do you expect? Also, I lied... I did also have a protein shake yesterday. But I don't know if Almond Milk and powder really counts as food. Drunk selfie #8

 Alas, commence the 3rd Annual Glitter party hosted by my fabulous best girlfriend. Booze and glitter is the perfect combination and my favorite ladies top it all off. 

Drunk selfie #9 

 Let the glittering happen. There are several ways you can go about glittering youself. We used a combination of glue, lotion, hairspray, and the ever famous "throw glitter into the air and run through it" method. 

 Drunk selfie #10 with my number one homo Michael. I love this kid beyond belief. 

 It takes true skill to take a drunk selfie (#11) while Colby was having her stomach glittered. Epic. 

 Banging Colby from behind is usually part of my daily routine. 

 My best girls and I always have to pose for fabulous photos together before a night out on the town. 

Drunk selfie # 12. I took literally 2 photos at the bar and I don't even know who this girl is but judging from the fact that she made it into a photo with me chances are likely that I absolutely adored her.

Check out a few photos that ended up of me online from Pride this year that I didn't take!! Just to give you a better taste of what my day actually was like! 

Until next time,

xoxo

Cale, The Sassy Friend.