Breaking Down the Gossip Train

                Humanity has so much potential for producing astounding things by using the amazing technological resources we have; yet, we’ve developed addictions to social media sites.

Yes, these are great tools for keeping in contact with one another, for reaching out to those who have moved away or traveled far, and for saving on postage (especially if we were to send everyone on our friends lists a package of all of the pictures we put on these sites). But, really, what benefit is it for our society to share every moment of every day with your friends lists and followers? Blogs can be equally as bad, and I am just as guilty as the next digital age citizen. Why do we care so much about what others are doing with their lives? Is it because we actually care? Or is it for gossip on your coffee break at work?

Here’s the thing: I have this undying vendetta against gossip, mostly because I’m from a small town and they are notorious for gossip. In fact, the majority of the relationships one makes (well, generally speaking from my own experience) is based off of the premise of gossip in rural communities. My grade 8 art teacher enlightened me to the most humbling bit of advice one day. A group of us were talking and one particular individual started to playfully insult a person who was not present in this group. We thought it was harmless and so we all got caught up in this gossiping frenzy. I started to insult this person as well and then when it got out of hand, our teacher (who was sitting right there) looked at us over his glasses and said, “guys, how would you feel if people were talking about you the way you’re talking about *insert name here*?” I had never thought about that before, what a strange concept. I was 13, I was invincible. No one ever talked about me when I wasn’t present.

BUT, OF COURSE THEY DID!

If you do it behind other people’s backs, chances are someone does it to you. I started to torture myself with this perpetuating reel of things people could gossip about behind my back. I immediately stopped talking in that discussion and felt forever guilty of ever participating in a gossiping frenzy. I have since then tried my hardest to keep cognizant of this issue.

With that said, I had also made sure I did not share information about myself that I did not want people to use as gossip. Although it was to no avail, since people will interpret anything into a negative subject to talk about. And, I guess what I’m trying to say is, this rule and fact applies to social media sites too. Why would you put information such as moments of emotional vulnerability, pictures of inappropriate activities, or even share links to pages that are otherwise profane? Though you may not view it as such, these social media sites are not as casual as a physical social life. These sites are a place where other people can access (future employers, potential mothers-in-law, colleges and universities). Don’t think for a second that these people are not as tech-savvy as you and don’t know how to creep you and your latest update on twitter #nojobforyou #McD4lyfe. But, you can’t just blame the victims of gossip for making it so easy.

It just makes you wonder if you use facebook and all that jazz because it serves as fuel for gossip, or if you are connected to these people because you actually find that relationship positive. What is gossip anyway? I really want you to think about it, does it serve any purpose in your life other than to make yourself feel superior to this person you gossip about? Keep mindful that other people have to make choices based on their own circumstances, and any judgment that is made without knowing fully what that person is going through in their life is going to be a false accusation. For example, you are criticizing someone for wearing clothes that are old and from a parent’s closet but you ignore that this person’s parents recently passed away so they are wearing these clothes as an intimate memory of their departed. Or, for instance, you are judging a girl for wearing too much make-up, but she wears that much make-up because she has always been told that she is ugly and has developed a difficult complex that only make-up can fix temporarily. Could you imagine how guilty you would feel after that? Could you imagine being in their position? Can you see that you are not solving problems by gossiping, that you are merely adding more problems to the original one?

What kind of solution can I offer for this issue? Well, the way I see it is there are two main issues to this problem: one is that people simply over-share on their social media sites; the other is that people find gossip to be a good topic of conversation. What I can suggest is to be very critical of whom you let into your life on social media sites; just the same way as you would in your physical personal life. Another suggestion is to use these sites as tools, to collaborate with colleagues, to publicize events that rely on word of mouth, to share your passions and to encourage and spread positivity. There is enough negativity in the world, and it has been scientifically proven that negative thought processes have just as negative effects on the environment around you, so keep your posts positive. If you have a funny story, you’ll be surprised how many people will respond to that post. In my experience, I get the most attention if I post things that I have succeeded in doing (getting accepted into college or posting things that I’m doing with other people like traveling). People like to know that you’re doing things. If you want positive attention, go out and do positive things! You won’t regret it. Another solution is simply just stop gossiping, find better things to talk about, things that will make you feel better without possibly making others feel bad.

Although we rely so much today on our devices to communicate and it has definitely made many things much more convenient, we need to remember that we still have the capacity to speak and the natural need to be in contact with other humans. We are a species that is most successful when we cooperate—two heads are better than one—so instead of separating ourselves with these devices and creating hostile environments for ourselves and others, let’s not forget that there is still a world out there that wants to be experienced, and people who want to be respected.

Post less, do more.

Until next time!


Dillon