This topic of conversation comes up a lot in people’s
everyday lives and it always somehow makes its way back to my ears and I’m here
to tell you to stop in 3 simple points.
1. Sexuality is so complicated and different for
every single person on this planet. It’s not “one or the other” which many
people have been raised to think. Sexuality and gender are spectrums. Which
means that people fall on a certain point of this spectrum and it’s hard to
describe someone’s sexuality because it’s such a diverse spectrum. As society
progresses, we absolutely need to stop criticizing people for their sexuality
no matter what they are born to be, because you will never be able to tag their
sexuality for them. Never. Don’t even think for once that what you speculate
about them is how they feel. Don’t ever assume that they have suppressed their
sexuality and are in denial. Though, there might be cases that someone might
have hidden their sexuality from the public. This does not concern you. It does
not.
2. Sexuality is a private matter. It is not
something that everyone in the world needs to know. It’s not something that you
need to wear as a badge on the breast of your shirt so people can “expect”
certain behaviours from you. No. Let me put it to you in the simplest terms: IT’S
NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS WHAT SOMEONE’S SEXUALITY IS. Unless you are in an
intimate relationship with this individual, you have no right to be nosing your
assumptions and preconceived notions into this person’s love life.
3. Sexuality is not a choice. People have an innate
tendency to respond to sexual interaction in their own personal way. Most often this is something you are born
with, but depending on what kind of interactions an individual might have in
their lifetime may influence how they respond to said interactions. It’s not a
defect. It’s not an issue. It’s not weird. Just like everyone has a different
personality (and should not be labelled or categorized because of that either),
they have a different sexuality. And I repeat, it’s none of your business.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This comes up because I am not the stereotypical man. I display
a lot of feminine qualities, and I always have. I am gentle, soft spoken,
happy, and kind (or so I’m told). But, when people talk to me they immediately
assume I am homosexual. Then, they question my relationship that I am having
with a girl. Then they immediately have pity for my significant other, because
they think that I am hiding this deep dark secret and that she has been completely
blind to my personality for the two and a half years we have known each other.
Give us some credit. We are educated, intelligent adults.
Then let me tell you—I am aware of my behaviours and so is
she. We often joke about how we don’t really follow the gender binaries. We are
very happy together. We don’t need anybody telling us things they have
speculated about our intimate relationship, because it’s OUR business only. NOT
yours. It hurts her just as much as it hurts me when people openly assume these
things and think that they are helping by saying these things. Well, let me
tell you, if you like seeing people unhappy and angry towards you, then keep
doing this. Otherwise, we are happy, and all we ask is that people see that we
are happy and are happy for us too.
These assumptions don’t go unnoticed. So, think before you
speak. And remember, the only sexuality that is your business is your own,
unless someone else invites you into theirs.
Thank you.
Until next time,
Dillon
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